Evidently I am no princess.
Because princesses wake up all smiley and stretch while they hear birds chirping while the pull down the covers. Deer smiling at the window and little cute furry bunnies bringing them their slippers. They smile and greet each creature with a sweet, "Hello, what a beautiful morning."
I wake up like Shrek.
"What the hell are you doing in my swamp? Who disturbed my sleep. Go away!!!!"
All fumbling out of the bed with sheets tied around my calves. Glasses crooked on my face and a big ball of hair falling out of one ugly bun at the top of my head. It's not pretty. Small pets and children beware...
This morning was particularly bad. I woke up to a 3 year old screaming, "Mommy, my hands are all red." Meaning "Mommy, I just had one hell of a nose bleed and you're gonna get out of bed a 5:30 and fix this shit for me."
To hell with princesses. Where's my coffee.
20 hours ago