Sunday, January 10, 2010

To pee or not to pee

Did you miss me???

I know you did. Come give me a hug. I missed you too old friends!!!!!! But whewwwwww, life hit the fast lane and I have not had my seat belt on. These crazy kids of mine are about to wear me out! Hubs had been gone for over a month and 5 days a week I am single momma. (*which I would now like to bow down and offer a box of wine to all single mommas of the world because I can't hack it..) I am so tired every weekend. But things will slow down...eventually. (Anyone wanna buy a house, pretty please! No? Fine!)

Thanks to these kids $hitty lovely sleeping habits, I got to relive a childhood memory and watch 3 straight episodes of The Cosby Show. You know, the ones where Vanessa was such a twit, and Rudy was so cute you could pinch her? My favorite! That Dr. Huxtable! He gets me every time.

Why was I up in the middle of the night watching Nick At Night, you ask? How very sweet of you to care. Well, you know I am trying to potty train my seventeen year old newly three year old boy. Every-stinking-day it's, "Do you need to go potty? Did you pee pee in your pull up? Are you wet?" and Every-stinking-day it's, "No, Mommy. I don't need to go. I'm dry." And guess what? He's totally lying!!!!! Liar Liar - Wet Pants on Fire!

But at 2:30 in the morning he decides to mess with his momma. I bet he even turned to his froggy and said, "Watch this, her eyes are gonna pop right out of her head." And then he screams bloody murder. MMMMOOOOOMMMMMAAAA!!!!!!!!!! MMMOOOOOMMMMMMAAAA!!!!! COME HERE MMMMMMOOOOOOMMMMMMAAAA!!!!!! I go flying into his room only to see a smiling boy nudge froggy and give him a wink, put his hands behind his head and say, "Mommy, I'm wet, can you change me?"

EVERY single flipping cuss word went through my head in 2.2 seconds! Luckily, the only words that actually made it out of my mouth where, "Really?" Little snot head! So I changed him in his crib and tucked him in, kissed his head and then threatened him with an inch of his life if he screamed like that again I would give him something to scream about!

And me being the optimist that I am, I thought, "Well, you never know when it's gonna click for them, maybe this was his time and he will wake up potty trained and all I had to do was wake up once with him. I could handle that." Yeah, uh, NO! The little pee master is still at it with no regard to actually giving an inch on this potty training.

and P.S. Does Weight Watchers have a pause button because Girl Scout Cookies are coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7 comments:

Marcia said...

I do not miss toilet training, I never want to be involved with it again. It messes with you, they mess with you and just when you are four glasses into drowning your sorrows over it, they get it. So bad!

:) Marcia

Chelle said...

Um, I could totally copy and paste this post. Except for the single mom part (kudos to you!). I do love Dr. Huxtable. And Girl Scout Cookies. And I do hate potty training. So much. Good luck!

mother goose said...

oh my goodness, i so loved this post and your humor and the way you write!!! Love your tricky little pee master! LOL

Nicole said...

I'm right there with you. Riley will be 3 in two weeks and he still wants NOTHING to do with that toilet or underwear. Everytime I put him on the potty he does nothing and then not 30 seconds after taking him off, he pee's on my carpet. WTH???? My other 2 boys were never this hard. I think I'm going to have to do it cold turkey and just take the diapers away.........

Burgh Baby said...

Potty training is EVIL. It's designed to make us all go crazy. HATED IT.

sheila said...

Liar liar- wet paints on fire....O! M! G! I literally lost something from my nose. lol! That was frickin hysterical

Kameron said...

I say, go for broke and ditch the pullups. I think they can't tell when they are wet because they are still like diapers. I had no success until we went right into undies. We had a few accidents but it went so much faster!