So the other night I got to get out of the house...alone... and in the words of Sara, it was effing awesome! But while I was out, I made some very intellectual observations. *yeah, you should see how intellectual a 33 year old woman looks trying to type her findings into her Blackberry because she's too old to remember it all, while walking into people in the mall. Not so smart, but effing hilarious! (Yeah, I got an effing thing going... just go with it, you'll like it.)
So here are my findings:
1. What the hell is up with putting 3D origami roses on the boobs? Every effing store had shirts with this huge arse roses across the teets. Not cute at all! (Please forgive me if you are wearing one of these shirts, sitting at work, and just slumped a bit in your chair & looked around to see if anyone noticed you wearing origami on your shirt. I am sure you look great in it.)
2. Am I too old for the Candies, Misses section??? I'm afraid some alarm is going to go off if I take my old wrinkly butt over there, but there are some cute things that don't have roses on them, and I want to effing go play!
3. I totally have the whole 80's thing figured out. At first I was all, "Hell to the no, we are not reliving that ugly style again!" BUT...if those skinny biatches wear that baggy stuff & I wear fitted clothes, we might just meet somewhere in the middle and I'm gonna look hot. Feel free to use my theory.
4. I totally got a rash just walking past Abercrombie just smelling the perfume. (I have never been in that store, and even had to look up how to spell the effing name on Google just now. Old much???)
5. When you drink over 8 glasses of water for Weight Watchers (down 10 lbs, thank you very much) you have to PEE a freeking effing lot! So that means you find every effing public restroom in the mall. And all that squatting starts to hurt. Think I can count that squatting down for some activity points?
6. And.. it kinda sucks not having a stroller to put all my crap in. I had to effing carry it all by myself.
Earning My Punishments
18 hours ago