I did not open a bottle of champagne at some one's home and spill the entire freakin' thing all over myself. And if I did, I would certainly not suck the alcohol out of my hair. I was not super embarrassed and want to crawl in a hole, and my friends certainly did not ROFL at me, what kind of friends would that be?
I did not leave my car door open for 6 hours parked on a street at some one's house. Come on! That's just ridiculous. I was not scared of 'critters' getting in my car and freak out about ever little noise the entire drive home.
I did not forget to put sunscreen on my face at the Air Show this weekend. I did not get a huge sunburn and then realize that I had my sunglasses on the entire time. My husband did not call me a "cute raccoon" this morning.
I did not get so freaked out at the eye doctor because I was taking a really long time trying on new glasses that I just grabbed a pair. I did not grab a pair that have fireworks on the sides of them. What am I? 16 or 65?