I did not bend over to pick something up and hear my 2 year old screaming, "purple, purple," in the grocery store only to realize that he was pointing at my underwear. Granny panties anyone?
I did not go to a bar called The Black Sparrow (think eye patch and bird on my shoulder) with my priest for a birthday party. I did not try to pay her $5 to wear her collar in the bar.
I did not do the one thing every mother fears, but it happens anyway. I did not try to check my son's diaper in public and accidentally stick my finger in poop! I did not scream, gag, and drag the child by one arm across the floor, to the bathroom and nearly throw up. NOTHING is finger licking good anymore.
I did not sequester my husband to his room for 6 hours, 2 being with children, so I could have a jewelry home party downstairs with my girlfriends. He did not have beers lined up in the bathroom, a bag of M&M's and the computer. He did not complain at all, in fact, I think he was happy to get away. I did not get some super awesome jewls that are going to make me tre fabulous!
I did not get super excited and tell everyone I know (hence why I am also telling you guys) that my son went pee pee in the potty for the first time this week. Now, he never did it again, but once is a start.