It was certainly not me who danced and shook my booty at a "no pants party" with my daughter while we waited for the dryer to finish drying our jeans. That's just absurd! Who even has ever heard of a "no pants party?"
It was sooo not me who finally could not contain myself and used an eyelash curler on my 2 year old boy's long, thick, beautiful eyelashes just to see. He did not look super cute and love me doing it to him, certainly not. We will absolutely NOT tell his father we did that.
I did not and will not admit to playing Rock Band drums with wooden spoons. And I would not have gotten a splinter in my finger if I did. Ouch!
I did not eat three cupcakes before noon in one day. That kind of over indulgence is just too much. At least they did not have icing on them. Doesn't that count as muffins?
And I do not have a small child that can't say his "c's" so instead of asking for another coke (don't judge me!) He instead begs and even uses sign language for "Another hoe... please another hoe." I did not get the biggest kick out of my son's protest for another hoe...