Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Trim the bushes

To all of those who know my in real life... I'm sorry.

So today's topic: Bikini Wax
(discuss amongst yourselves for a minute, I'll wait....)

OK, so I am getting out of the winter hibernation, you know thinking about all that needs to be done to don the shorts, bathing suit, skirts, etc. this season (ok really in 3,4 months, but I am REALLY tired of winter so humor me.

The checklist starts like this
1. Lose 40 lbs. (OK< that's easy, consider it done)
2. Bake up the fish belly white skin... as to not blind anyone with my whiteness. (several ways to get this done, no problem)
3. Highlight the hair... (cost-yeah, but totally worth it)
4. New spring wardrobe. (sure, let me go pluck from the money tree we planted last year and I am off to Nordstrom)
5. Bikini Area??? Hmmmmmmmm. What to do with that?

And there it is. My dilemma. What to do with it? I mean it's not a subject I am going to have with my girlfriends at Olive Garden. "Please pass the bread, and by the way, how do you trim the bush?" (Friends, breathe... breathe... I won't ask.)
But since you people are only in my imagination, I feel safe asking you. What is proper? As I stare at the box of bikini wax my parents got me for my birthday last year, (NO LIE, not making that one up.) I kinda freak out. That has got to seriously hurt. I mean, I wax other places, but there? And do you 'do it yourself' or do you go somewhere and have a stranger do it? What? What? I NEED to know! And you never know, maybe my first giveaway will be a box of unused bikini wax, regifted of course.

So I am putting a vote on my pg. just to get some of those who might not want to share their thoughts right next to a picture of them & their kid on my comment page. But if you are so brave, please, do leave a comment, by all means. Even email me if you feel necessary. And with that, I will end by apologizing to my mother, my sisters and my personal friends for this post.


Cammie said...

Im a do it yourself landscaper. The way my brow lady is I can only imagine the pain she would inflict on my netherlands.....YOWZA

Cary said...

I'm not skeered to comment. It is what it is, right? It's gotta be maintained. So, I used to wax myself, but it isn't foolproof. You're always left with something that you have to take care of another way. And it hurts. Freakin bad. So, I shave- but here's the catch. You have to shave EVERY DAY and after you get out of the shower you have to use a lotion (like a face moisturizer) with SALICYLIC ACID in it. I use Clean & Clear. I know it sounds crazy, but the SA keeps you from getting razor bumps (they're sort of like pimples, right?) I read this little tip in a book that I'm not ready to admit that I own. REMEMBER THE CATCH- YOU HAVE TO DO THIS EVERY DAY. Works for me. Maybe I should post this on Works for Wednesday. You think I'd gross everyone out? JK :) Hope this helps.

Mary Teresa said...

I am all good commenting as long as my MIL doesn't start reading your blog. I think I'm safe. =D

I also shave. Hot wax is not allowed near anything that important. Not my eyes, not my...well not my other parts either. I don't get any bumps (lucky me!) so I don't do any no bump stuff. Just lotion. To keep in prime condition like during the summer months it is an everyday task. Although i'm not gonna lie...takes me less time than shaving my legs. I will understand if you run screaming now...;D

lmt1073 said...

Ummm, my advice , buy a quadruple blade razor, very little if no stubble at all.... A couple of years ago I was weary of this but tried it because of my dark hair and very light bikini... to this day, I still swear by it!

That Girl said...

Have you ever heard of Magic Cream? Its a (stinky) hair remover that works well.
I normally just shave though.

Kameron said...

I have tried the dreaded professional wax. It sucked so bad. It blinded me with pain and I swore never to do it again. i just shave and use a good razor (a man's razor, mach 3). It works out because now we only have to buy one kind of blade refill too!!

Nikki B. said...

I shave it...all. The whole kit-n-kaboodle. It sucks...it's a pain in the ass and I loathe every second of it. But, do it out of respect...you know!! I, too, use a Mach 3...seems to be girlie bottom friendly!

In a perfect world...I would let my garden grow and run around fat and naked and people wouldn't even care a bit. Not only would they not care...they would think my fat rolls and full bush were friggin HOT!!!

Like...if I was one of those women in some of Michelangelo's paintings...that would be a good era for me!

Shelly said...

so are you talking about shaving EVERYTHING down there or just so you can wear a bathing suit and not see hair??

Heidi said...

Shelly: Well, I know what I do. I guess I am wondering if I am normal or what? So I am not sure how to answer the EVERYTHING or just bathing suit questions. I'm not letting the garden grow or anything,but....
Nikki: That is such a good era.. Or the 80's. I don't think they cared either. And a Mach 3? I think we own one of those. My poor husband. (at least I'll switch out the blades.)

~~Mel~~ said...

I shave...and I shave it all off...all year round. For me it's just cleaner, looks nicer and it turns the boyfriend on like no tomorrow lol. Even though I have somewhat sensitive skin I never get razor bumps...I just make sure I shave everyday or at the very minimum every other day. I was a girl who didn't think I'd get into that trend...but once I shaved for an ex(he's an ex now anyway lol and it took lots of talking into)...I couldn't ever let it grow back.

Crystal said...

I trim with a trimmer and shave the bikini line, anytime I have shaved everything it is just a disaster lol. People say to shave the direction of the hair but I must have wild hair because mine doesnt go in any certain direction and is very very coarse. I am far too lazy anyway to shave it all, I trim once a week or so. I have heard to not go over a spot more then once with a razor even if it missed some hair because that is what causes the rashes and bumps.. just one stroke and do it everyday and after a few days it will be pristine lol..

heidi said...

I shave every once in awhile when Rob says he can't see the forest for the trees.

I've always thought about waxing but I'm scared to. LOL

There ain't no way on Earth I'm paying people to pretty up the poontang.

You saw where I said on my blog that my private garden has it's own little stick of deoderant, right? Yep. I put it on after I shave and it keeps razor burn away.

Your PARENTS got you the wax? That's crazy.

I'll wax...then blog. No video. You wax and blog. WE'll start a new blog carnival.

Jean said...

Since we're all letting our hair down so to speak I'll spill mine.
I let the forest grow during the winter. I do try to keep things tamed down as often as possible cause it does get uncontrollable after to long.
I go through spurts when I'm really keeping it maintained. I'll either shave it all or shave/cut it really really short and neat and tidy. I think the hubs likes a little mystery but not a whole rain forest.
I've never waxed and probably never will. Don't we deal with enough pain as it is?

Nicole said...

Wax....um no, I dont think so!!! I shave and trim. I use my Dove moisture soap and I dont usually get burned.

Mrs B said...

You know what, if I had the money, I would get it waxed by a pro every time. I had it done once and although it hurt, in wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. The lady was super nice, talked to me the whole time and told me that she has lots of the same clients "cause they don't want to go showing their coochey all over town". Makes sense to me. Otherwise, while in a recession, I shave...it sucks and I always get bumps, but there you go.

nicole said...

1. i freakin love you

2. i was expecting to be the only slut bag to comment and am so impressed with your following :)

3. lady remington on the beave and razor around the edges :)

sheila said...

I waxed my upper lip once. Once. I couldn't even imagine waxing down there! Make candles instead with the wax. LOL.

No way, no how. OUCH!

obladi oblada said...

Thanks for this post, it rocks and now...Im going shopping, for a Mach 3 razor extra blades, and some Cean & Clear lotion. It is time to get to work on the yard, it has been a long winter!

Angela said...

I shave but have also used veet.
I am staying away from chemicals while pregnant now, but plan on useing it after my baby is born.

easy and painless

Have fun.

Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children said...

These are some of the funniest comments I've ever read!

I don't know if you really want to know my "secrets" since you know me, but I shave the edges for a landing strip effect DOWN THERE. I shave everyday, it's just part of my showering routine.

I'd kinda like to try a Brazilian because I'm a freak and wanna know how much it really hurts.

Khadra said...

um, was your family trying to tell you something when they gave you the wax for your birthday? lol!!!

Tuesday Girl said...

Go somewhere to get it waxed, it hurts MUCH less.

Heidi @ Tayterjaq's Rebels said...

OMG I can't believe your parents actually bought you bikini wax!!! I think I would absolutely die. I am at my husbands coffee shop right now laughing like a hyena!
Obviously I am seriously in the minority here since I don't shave or wax. I will keep it trimmed when I think of it but my bathing suit has a skirt so there's nothing showing anyhow.
I can't even imagine waxing...ouch!

Mother Goose said...

ok, i would totally say pass the bread and how do you trim? but, that's my personality there is no tabu subject!

I am a do it yourself, get creative change it up kinda girl! The only thing I haven't done was change the color.

I'm afraid to wax but I want to go to someone to have it professionally done!