Monday, February 16, 2009

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week


I did NOT get a bag of Red Hots from a friend and proceed to eat half the bag while sitting through a meeting. I did not then go seeking that delicious bag of cinnamon goodness the next day in my van only to find it spilled all over the back floorboard. I then did not cry out loud, wedge myself between two car seats and scrape up every last one of those off the floor and eat them. Come on people, that is nasty!

I did not get hit in the eyelid with my son's sticky sucker while getting him out of the car, only to find my eyelid sticking to itself leaving me unable to blink the entire time in the grocery store.

I did not listen to my 2 year old's begging for me to get into his tent with him only to get stuck halfway through the opening and my arse hanging out the back. I then did not shimmy into the tent and sit there for 30 min. burping up coke just to hear him laugh his head off.

I did not (truly did not, but my sister did, and I MUST say it) go to a restaurant with someone who had a colostomy bag. The bag did not BREAK and spill leaving a smelly trail throughout the restaurant. That is just something that does not happen, seriously.

22 comments:

Mary Teresa said...

Suckers are a great emergancy source of glue. Just in case you ever need to McGuyver anything.

Ewwww colostomy bag. And how embarassing for that poor person.

blueviolet said...

Your sticky eyelid cracks me up!

I have never heard of a colostomy bag breaking...wow!

Bonnie said...

Making a note to be careful of those colostomy bags. That poor person!

Secondly, sorry to hear about about the red hots but glad you made a recovery...you should see me with icy squares.

lmt1073 said...

How funny and a bit disgusting at the same time!!! Great post!

Cammie said...

Happy Monday!!!

Jean said...

Holy Cow Patties! I never even knew something like that could happen to a colostomy bag. So glad that didn't happen to you.
I LOLed about shimmying into the tent. Not that you did that or anything..just saying..

sheila said...

The colostomy bag? OMG. O. M. G

heidi said...

Oh, gross. LOL Sounds like a crappy experience for your friend.

Kameron said...

That last one is awful. You must be your sister's favorite for sharing that story!!

kristi said...

Tee Hee!! I have gotten into my son's tent too...I hardly fit! And the burp thing, I am the champ! My Hubs says I am the man in this relationship!

The Other K Wick said...

No worries on the red hots, I suppose a good rule is as long as it is your dirt, its ok. As gross as that may seem to others. LOL. Great Not Me's.

Burgh Baby said...

Ew ew ew ew ew gross gross gross gross gross. And that had to SUCK for everyone involved!

Lauren said...

Wow! That last one has left me speechless! That is just terrible!

Jennifer Loppnow said...

red hots are a staple in my house lol. when they can last longer then 2 hours once I get them home.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Eww the colostomy bag breaking. Oh how embarrassing.

Danie said...

Sounds like a typical Monday to me ;)

Khadra said...

your week was funny! Sorry!!!

and yeah I would have picked up the candy and ate it too...and then I would have obsessed that I ate something bad that would kill me in the process of eating the dirty candy.

newlyweds said...

I am laughing so hard! How funny I can totally picture you on the floor board eating candy, and the stick eye.

M said...

You are such a great mom (and sister!)

Junita said...

As I said before in my follower tribute - one would think you make this all up - sadly, or hysterically - you don't!

Kristi said...

A colostomy bag? Oh my...that is so disgusting and then to have it break? I would be horrified.

Michelle said...

Hee hee at the image of your stuck eyelid and getting caught in the tent!