Thursday, February 19, 2009

Let's Recap, shall we

I believe this subject is important enough to have a second glance, just to get all the information right. Thank you for your votes, comments, emails, phone calls (oh yeah, I got phone calls on this one), and even face to face discussions (you know who you are!) I had no idea this was such a hair-raising subject for all. (that's right, I said it, attempt at very bad humor.)

So it turns out that 79% of us do our own landscaping work, while 17% just go Willy-Nilly. And one, ONE brave soul, bares butt to a complete stranger, but then after that, I guess you are acquainted, huh?

These are the TIPS and TRICKS on how to handle the delicate matter yourself.
*Shave everyday! (E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y! Holy shit that's alot of shaving. I mean, 365? Crap, my 30-40 a year seems like alot. But for the sake of fashion, I will suck it up.
*Use a Mach 3 Razor. (discuss this with the man in your life before using his, turns out, they aren't so hot about you using their razor. I think I heard, "touch my razor and die.") So, maybe purchasing your own would be a good idea, at least in my house.
* Use lotion afterwards. I think this is a given, but there has been discussion on using lotion with Salicylic Acid or even deodorant. I guess that's up to you to experiment with.
* Now when it comes to design, I guess that's when you get some creative differences going. You could go all "bald is beautiful," maybe a landing strip just in case the plane needs some help finding the airport. Or perhaps a Mohawk? Crop circles? even monograms are in this time of year. But whatever you do, DO NOT post pictures. (just a friendly reminder for all you daredevils.)

I think I need to give some props to you guys who literally made me laugh out loud all day just thinking about your comments.

Nikki:In a perfect world...I would let my garden grow and run around fat and naked and people wouldn't even care a bit. Not only would they not care...they would think my fat rolls and full bush were friggin HOT!!!

Heidi (other Heidi): I shave every once in awhile when Rob says he can't see the forest for the trees

Jean:Since we're all letting our hair down so to speak I'll spill mine.

: i was expecting to be the only slut bag to comment and am so impressed with your following :)

Obladi Oblada:It is time to get to work on the yard, it has been a long winter!

And in closing: the story of how my parents gave me bikini wax for my birthday. When I was young whenever I went to the drugstore with my mom she use to buy out the whole store of just little things, nail polish, candies, makeup.... I love it. She used her "mad money" and just had fun. So last year for my birthday I asked her to give me a goody bag from the drug store. Boy did she ever give me one. Hilarious. It had trash magazines, flip flops, Vitamins for Seniors, tons of stuff... including a bikini wax kit. So there you go. My parents aren't crazy, just funny.


Disordered Mom said...

I love your blog, I try to trim up as often as possible, but i am busy and lazy and that whole everyday thing never happens. I did have a boyfriend once who asked me to dye it Hot Pink, it didn't work out but I figure if we are doing this mostly for them why not let them have a say in the final product? just a thought. and please check out and follow my blog.

Cammie said...

excellent study my friend

Nikki B. said...

that was a fun post...thanks for the mad props!!

Sara said...

Ok, I have no idea who you are, and I randomly stumbled upon your blog because my child decided to take a normal length nap today...and instead of being productive, I'm sitting on my ass cyberstalking...I mean reading great material. Let me say my friend, you are friggin hilarious. If you don't mind, I will be back! :)

Lauren said...

So I missed the original post but i went back and read it. More power to you if you can wax yourself! I never could bring myself to rip the strip off myself! I much prefer a complete stranger (or a close friend if one is willing) to do the deed for me!

Danielle (Life with the Hewitt Family) said...

You are so funny! I was trying my hardest not to laugh too loud to distrub our IT guy sitting in the office...don't think I want to approach that subject with him in the room!

Thanks for being so honest! You Rock!

Burgh Baby said...

Um, I totally saw a site this morning where someone showed photos of a man who went for the full trim. FULL trim. I am now traumatized and may never speak of shaving again. Ever.

Tinika said...

I'm glad you did a recap because I missed it the first time around!

I feel much better now that (thanks to you!) I am educated on the matter.

Kameron said...

I now feel as if my bush is in good own, not yours. Ok that sounded weird! ;o)

Rochelle said...

HAHAHA -- you are hilarious girl!! And let me just say I HATE SHAVING with a PASSION!! So I go to a salon and wax - it is totally worth the $120 bucks that I will save change for and go to coinstart to change into respectable cash just to get it done once a month!!

Melissa said...

Oh flick! This is hilarious!

That Girl said...

I am so glad you explained the parents buying the wax kit deal. I was very curious!

~~Mel~~ said...

I have to say I learnt some tips and tricks reading your blog lol.

Mother Goose said...

HOOLY, wiping the tears from my eyes love it love it, now I have to find the post that stemmed this!!!

WHY did you not come to my blog and tell me to get my butt over there and read!!! these are just posts that I thrive on!!!! ::smack smack::
oops sorry you may have liked a good smack down. I know i do, occassionally. LOL