Is this thing on?
I call you all here today for a special news conference.
I will be stepping down early in my reign of "Mother of the Year."
I will hand over my crown and my sash to the runner up, in lew of yesterday's events. I am not proud, I am ashamed of myself. I can only hope that photo's were not taken, nor leaked to the media. I know some of you have first hand knowledge when the event took place, and I appreciate you holding on to it until I could prepare a statement myself.
I will work long and hard to restore my good name and will try again for the crown next year. Thank you.... That is all.
*It seems that yesterday at approximately 1:20 pm Mrs. Heidi got a call from her daughter's school. Thinking it was the nurse calling she quickly answered the phone and was shocked with the information. Evidently, Mrs. Heidi forgot her daughter at school. In the snow, no less. For 20 minutes. She then had to get her sleeping toddler out of bed and drag him to the school to pick up her 1st grader who was waiting in the office after 30 minutes. It is no wonder Mrs. Heidi has relinquished the crown and we will further investigate this matter. We now return you to regularly scheduled programming of the Bachelor.
When She's Good, I Seem Crazy
17 hours ago