I'm going blind in one eye. If my kids keep up their secret pact to make mom blind in one eye so I don't see what they are doing, I am going to totally go blind. This past week I have been
*Hit in the eye with the corner of a Dr. Seuss book. (OUCH) just be cause, God forbid, it was the wrong book at nap time. Their are nicer ways to say it than to make mom's eye bleed.
* Had a sweet, depth perception deficient daughter try to get a piece of hair out of my eye only to strike me with her super long nail right in the retina. Her mother should sooo start looking into getting clippers after those claws.
* Had a large toddler wrestle away from me while I am putting a choke hold on him to keep him from running into the street, only to get elbowed right in the socket
I am thinking of investing in some protective wear, kinda like what those NBA stars are always sporting out on the court. I mean there should be some kind of gear for parenting. Snot resistant clothing, protective eyewear, hats that keep hair from being pulled, earplugs for tantrums, hard sole shoes for small toys that sneak under my feet and make me says words I haven't said in years. I am going to create a Mommy HazMat outfit complete with cute characters on the front, kinda like the great scrubs I see everywhere. (sidenote: I am totally thinking of posing like a nurse just to wear scrubs all day.) But if you are interested in my Mommy Protective Suit it will be in stores Spring 2009, early registration will be considered for close friends.
Earning My Punishments
6 hours ago