Friday, October 24, 2008

Is it cold down there?

Seriously? Has Hell frozen right over? Because I distinctly remember telling myself, "Self, you will never take this small child to the mall again! Do you hear me old young lady?" But I did, something happened, and I don't think it was the whiskey talking, but I did. I totally strapped that baby in and headed to the mall. And you know what??? It was ok.

Now for most of you it may seem like a total nightmare, but in Heidiland, this was a good outing. Anything that doesn't leave me sweating, screaming, and needing an immediate drink, is a good outing.

Starts off with Children's Place where he exercised his lungs quite thoroughly, but that's ok, we made it through, and got the things we needed and only managed to pull down one stack of shirts sitting at Toddler level. Then we went to the play place where a very bitchy strong willed 3 year old girl threw a fit about everything. "That's my slide. That's my house. That's my chair..." So we cut that short & rode the expensive little carousel cars. Which he kept trying to switch cars in the middle of the ride, causing his mother to trip over the stroller while I run beside him trying to make sure he doesn't fall on his head. (We already have a black eye, no need for stitches too.)

But then, ohhhhh then, I see it.... THE PRETZEL SHOP!!!! Can't you just smell those warm, delicious, salty bits of heaven? Oh, how I love those pretzels. So we get some, and I decide to just eat them in the car, no need to jinx the great time we have had a the mall. (seriously, I'm not kidding, that is a good time for us, hence the reason my Self warned me never to take the little shit there again.) But this little guy has other plans, he wants to sit at the table and eat. Now here is when the whiskey must have kicked in, or the mere fact that I realized that I could have my delectable pretzel NOW instead of waiting to get to the car and run the risk of it being cold. So we sit. in chairs. and nothing happened.! He sat, and he ate, and he laughed, and life was good. Real good. I mean, have your pretzel and eat it too, good!

And then like waking up from a dream, we finished. No more pretzel and the magic is over. He slips off the chair and goes darting down the mall with his crazy mom chasing him with cheese sauce all over her mouth screaming, "Stop, wait, don't touch that...."

We finally end up at one of those candy machines that have like 40 gumball machines all together in a circle and I am literally chasing him around the circle. The Tupperware lady is getting the biggest kick out of watching this cheese monster of a mom chase down her giggly convict of a son, though, so I do feel like I at least made one person's day better. But I finally outsmarted the little booger and caught him going the other way.

I then carried him out of the mall, feeling like my arm was going to fall off, but without any screaming or hitting. Yes, today was a good day. I am sorry that Hell has frozen over due to our trip to the mall. It's just going to have to stay that way. Look out world, we are ready to come out and play!

23 comments:

Rebekah said...

But dont you feel like the worlds bravest mom?

I dont mind hell freesing over if it was a good day at the mall for you

Nikki B. said...

I have to side with the tupperware lady on this one...sometimes it's fun to go to the mall just to watch the toddler-mommies chasing their kids. Ahhh...the good ole days...I don't know how I survived! The good news...I did and with any luck..you will, too! Oh and about your comment on my rat post...I like the way you think!!!

Nicole said...

I want to know why they are so damn hard to catch? How can they be that little and so fast?!!!!!

Pregalicious said...

hahaha, well i say we plan a mall play date when i'm on maternity leave! those play areas rock! and we can break the rules and eat pretzels while letting the little ones run around like crazies!

Kristin.... said...

And THAT is totally the reason why I stay home. The twins HATE their stroller these days. I can't imagine chasing them around, plus my almost 4 year old. I'd rather die.

sheila said...

great post! Makes all the crappy times seem worth it, doesn't it? lol

Danielle (Life with the Hewitt Family) said...

What an eventful trip you had at the mall...there was a time when Carter was younger that I felt exactly the same way! Thankfully he is a great shopper now....maybe a little too good. At least you got to eat some of your yummy pretzel!

Alicia said...

Them running off is the worst part! It's hard chasing them, not because they are fast, but we are slow!!!! Gosh, I am glad I'm out of "that" stage! But, before you know, there will be another one!!

Jessie said...

Oh that made me laugh so much!!! I know how you feel! I try not to go out with my two toddlers unless I have backup! lol

Thank you for stopping by my blog :)

tollesons4him said...

I could totally see that! THat was hilarious only because it happened to someone else and not me. I too made the comment when my kiddos were younger I would never take them back to the mall again. Great post!

ali said...

Ahhhh, but have you braved the furniture with all those tempting couches and recliners to play on? ::sigh::never again.

Heidi Zawisza said...

well, enjoy it while you can, because when she gets into grade school and you go to the mall, she will complain and whine THE ENTIRE TIME.....thus bringing you back to the whole hell freezing over thing.........
oh, and ummmmm, EXCUSE ME, but where is my FB friend invitation????

ParentingPink said...

Yes, I couldn't agree more - taking a child (or children in my case) to the mall always makes me feel like superwoman. Good for you!

We are THAT Family said...

Can you send me your email, so I can get you your gift certificate?

Melissa said...

ROFL!!! My kids arent allowed in stores with me. I have urges to beat them over the head with things!! I tagged you over on my blog :)

heidi said...

Bahahahaha - I coudl totally picture you trying to run beside the carousel and it made me laugh so loud people here asked me if I was ok.

Angela said...

speedy kids.
It is amazing what food will do to a toddler`

Scary Mommy said...

Been there, done that!!! I just braved Target with mine last week and I'm still recovering. It's so much easier to just stay put!

Stacey Fuller, ArtHouse owner & mom to Lyn and Livy said...

Cute story! I didn't see an email address for you so I thought I'd respond here and tell you Congrats! on winning the $25 gift certificate at my store, LynLivy's Arthouse (off of the "We are THAT Family" blog)! If you'll shoot me an email and give me a way to contact you I'll pass along the info you need so you can go shopping! ;) My email is: stacey@lynlivys.com.

Michelle said...

I have a feeling my outings with Lucas are going to go that way!

Mommyto2 said...

I'm glad it all worked out. A kid sitting still for any duration makes Mommy proud. I take the kids to play at the mall and maybe have lunch, but I do NOT shop at the mall if I can help it, and I can.

Mother Goose said...

well, i love the pretzel shop at the mall, but the rest of your day does not sound fun!LOL, how many kids do you have?

Sus said...

Shoot, sounds to me like you and he are ready for a fancy cocktail party at the Art Museum.

:)