Now for most of you it may seem like a total nightmare, but in Heidiland, this was a good outing. Anything that doesn't leave me sweating, screaming, and needing an immediate drink, is a good outing.
Starts off with Children's Place where he exercised his lungs quite thoroughly, but that's ok, we made it through, and got the things we needed and only managed to pull down one stack of shirts sitting at Toddler level. Then we went to the play place where a very
But then, ohhhhh then, I see it.... THE PRETZEL SHOP!!!! Can't you just smell those warm, delicious, salty bits of heaven? Oh, how I love those pretzels. So we get some, and I decide to just eat them in the car, no need to jinx the great time we have had a the mall. (seriously, I'm not kidding, that is a good time for us, hence the reason my Self warned me never to take the little shit there again.) But this little guy has other plans, he wants to sit at the table and eat. Now here is when the whiskey must have kicked in, or the mere fact that I realized that I could have my delectable pretzel NOW instead of waiting to get to the car and run the risk of it being cold. So we sit. in chairs. and nothing happened.! He sat, and he ate, and he laughed, and life was good. Real good. I mean, have your pretzel and eat it too, good!
And then like waking up from a dream, we finished. No more pretzel and the magic is over. He slips off the chair and goes darting down the mall with his crazy mom chasing him with cheese sauce all over her mouth screaming, "Stop, wait, don't touch that...."
We finally end up at one of those candy machines that have like 40 gumball machines all together in a circle and I am literally chasing him around the circle. The Tupperware lady is getting the biggest kick out of watching this cheese monster of a mom chase down her giggly convict of a son, though, so I do feel like I at least made one person's day better. But I finally outsmarted the little booger and caught him going the other way.
I then carried him out of the mall, feeling like my arm was going to fall off, but without any screaming or hitting. Yes, today was a good day. I am sorry that Hell has frozen over due to our trip to the mall. It's just going to have to stay that way. Look out world, we are ready to come out and play!