So my days of blissful relaxing are over. I realized today that I will probably have my children taken away, my husband will divorce me because of it, I will lose my house, my car and my credit cards. I will have to move back in with my parents 15 hrs. from here and even get a job.
What's that? You want to know why my life is ruined? Are you sure? Well, OK, we are close friends, I will tell you, but you have to promise not to tell anyone, I could get in trouble. It's because my son has discovered two new talents, both of which he learned and used today. First of all he discovered how to unlock the front door. (You gasped didn't you? I know, I did too when I saw it.) He was out in a flash. Oh crap! There is no baby gate to block the font door. My house is already a set of strategically placed dead ends of baby gates that it feels like you are in one of those mazes in an activity book or one of those stupid corn mazes, only less hay. The next Houdini trick he executed was to to patiently wait for someone to not latch the baby gate blocking entrance to the hallway that leads out to the garage, push his play lawn mower over to the garage door openers, stand on the mower to reach the buttons and push them open. This is how I found the little booger this afternoon, playing in the DRIVEWAY! Yeah, you heard that right. (Please don't turn me in, I don't want to go to jail!) It was only for a minute, but Holy Bad Mother Batman!
So if you don't hear from me for a while, it seems that I have been taken in by the state. If any of you want my children, I do want them to go to good homes. (I would leave them with their father, but he will eventually have the same thing happen to him and be put in jail also.... I hope they allow conjugal visits, this thing might work out for us, who has time for that sort of stuff these days when you are chasing kids in the driveway and out the door.)
Earning My Punishments
6 hours ago