Sunday, September 28, 2008

How Candy Corn Saved My Life

So my Sunday started off with a BANG! Well, really a knock, knock, "MOMMY!" as my 21 month old decided that 4am is the new 8am. (Oh no he din't, Oh yes he did!) Wide awake and ready for action. (Someone, please pinch me, it has got to be a nightmare.) So I am up doing the whole rocking thing... yada yada yada. Long story short, we are up. In the mean time, Hubby slips out the back at 5 am to go to Saint Louis for 3 days. (You know those business meeting that include the Cardinals games. Yup, you know the type.)

So I brilliantly think I will just wait this kid out... yeah, he is so much more strong willed than I. It took forever, but finally, at 7:09 am he falls asleep in his high chair. Now, not just "asleep," but knock me over with a feather, "Wake Up Jeff," asleep. (Boo Ya!) Only my Boo Ya lasted exactly 10 minutes. I got him down in his bed and made a bee line straight to mine. That is when my daughter came into my bedroom to tell me she's ready to start her day. Hip hip hooray! After a few threats on her life if she woke me up I directed her downstairs to watch television and wait for me to appear... later... much later. (What? She's 6, she can handle it, you have no idea what 4 am can do to me.)

And that's when the diaper hit the fan. The little turd woke up exactly 6 minutes later, screaming his head off. At this time I had just gotten my drool on and was sooo getting back into dream mode, you know the one about the guy you would never suspect you would have a dream about, but you did,and now you kinda think, "Huh, he is cute, why didn't I ever notice before?" (Not in REAL life, but I'm just sayin' I am lookin at "The Rock" in a totally different way.) Ok, ok, ok, back to the story....

So we are all up and I run out of coffee. That is so not good for the safety of my children. At this point I am crabby, cranky, grumpy, sleepy, dopey, doc... all in one. I am yelling for no apparent reason that I can figure out, just to hear myself yell at the little darlings that ruined my beauty rest I guess. But then the idea hits me. Maybe I am going about this all wrong. It's 8:30 am and I have needs.

My needs: Children to leave me the hell alone.

Their needs: breakfast.

Problem solved. Candy Corn and chocolate milk!

You should have seen my daughter's eyes when I handed her that candy corn. She looked like Hannah Montana herself was standing in front of her, she was so shocked. Of course goober boy just eats it right up and begs for more. The kids get off my case, they aren't begging for breakfast, for fear that I will give them the usual Basic 4 cereal with 2% milk and they do not dare break the spell that Mommy is under.

What's funny is that after about an hour my daughter asked me if I was still grumpy, which my answer was somewhat growl and somewhat audible "yes." She then gets a huge smile and says, "Yes, more candy." At that point the spell was broken and I banned all candy in the house until Halloween. (Not really, but I do believe they have had enough sugar to last a week at least.)


Busymama Kellie said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one that feeds her kids crap to get a few more minutes of sleep! And if I really plan ahead, I'll fill sippy cups with milk the night before and get their morning snacks portioned out so I can do the double pass - pass it to them and pass out!

Bonnie said...

Oh the memories that return when I read your posts about your sweet little guy! Though my oldest son was not an escapee he did love to wake at ridiculous hours and so does my second son.

I feel for you...It acutally physically hurt me to read you ran out of coffee!

Hope you get some rest in today.

Pregalicious said...

i feel your pain sister! candy corn to the rescue!

Jean said...

I haven't done the dispense the candy for breakfast route but more the chocolate cake or some kind of dessert route. I may have to keep the candy idea in mind. :)

Danielle (Life with the Hewitt Family) said...

Sorry to hear about your early morning...isn't it just crazy what we will allow to happen when we are sleep deprived? One of Carter's favorite things to do when mommy falls asleep on the couch watching cartoons is pull out every last one of the baby wipes and scatters them all over the house!

heidi said...

TV rocks.

nothin wrong with candy and chocolate milk for bfast. What's the difference between that and Cocoa Pebbles, anyway?

The whole "out of coffe" thing, though? A tragedy.

tollesons4him said...

Oh I feel for you been there done that so glad my girls are old enough to fend for themselves now.

Alicia said...

Oh my gosh...hilarious!!!!!!!!!!