Rules of a 1.5 year old.
1. Throw tantrums while in public with mom, she loves that.
2. Always drop half of your meal on the floor, giving the impression that you are full, only to run to the pantry after getting released from the highchair and proceed to spill goldfish all over the floor, thus adding to the mess that dear old mom is picking up, she's already down there, she won't mind a bit.
3. Please keep your face, hands, and diaper dirty at all times. It makes mom feel important when she carries tissue, diapers, and wipe around in that big bag she loves so much, without that, she would have to carry one of those small 'purses' and I don't think she likes those.
4. Never come when she calls, she really doesn't need you, she just loves to hear the name she slaved over picking out before you were born.
5. Always get your hands nice and mucky and be sure to leave marks all over her walls, that's how she can tell where you have been. If you can't find muck for your hands, just use a pencil or crayon, those work too.
6. Be sure to ALWAYS wake her up early, she loves a bright start to her day, especially on the weekends, that way Dad can feel special too.
7. You may think that pulling hair and hitting is mean, but don't worry, moms take it as a gesture of love. The harder you pull, the more they know you love them, so don't hold back.
8. The most important rule, when you see steam come out of her ears and her eyes do that crazy thing, be sure to give her one of your most charming smiles and a great big hug, it just may save your life!
*Please feel free to add your own rules that your child has taught you. I am sure there are lots I haven't learned yet.
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