Thursday, August 14, 2008

The Rules

Rules of a 1.5 year old.

1. Throw tantrums while in public with mom, she loves that.

2. Always drop half of your meal on the floor, giving the impression that you are full, only to run to the pantry after getting released from the highchair and proceed to spill goldfish all over the floor, thus adding to the mess that dear old mom is picking up, she's already down there, she won't mind a bit.

3. Please keep your face, hands, and diaper dirty at all times. It makes mom feel important when she carries tissue, diapers, and wipe around in that big bag she loves so much, without that, she would have to carry one of those small 'purses' and I don't think she likes those.

4. Never come when she calls, she really doesn't need you, she just loves to hear the name she slaved over picking out before you were born.

5. Always get your hands nice and mucky and be sure to leave marks all over her walls, that's how she can tell where you have been. If you can't find muck for your hands, just use a pencil or crayon, those work too.

6. Be sure to ALWAYS wake her up early, she loves a bright start to her day, especially on the weekends, that way Dad can feel special too.

7. You may think that pulling hair and hitting is mean, but don't worry, moms take it as a gesture of love. The harder you pull, the more they know you love them, so don't hold back.

8. The most important rule, when you see steam come out of her ears and her eyes do that crazy thing, be sure to give her one of your most charming smiles and a great big hug, it just may save your life!

*Please feel free to add your own rules that your child has taught you. I am sure there are lots I haven't learned yet.

12 comments:

Busymama Kellie said...

Yup, that sounds about right at our house too. Only they are rules of a 2.5 year old for us!

dani c said...

Ha haha these rules are so the truth.

Angela said...

Ah yes I think there are so many more rules than that, but unfortunatly I have blocked most of them out because I am now dealing with the rules of an almost three year old.

Teri said...

I am commenting here, since it is your latest blog, but I have to tell you that the first post I saw was the Rainbow Poop one and I was chuckling because you mentioned you were sorry if that was my first impression of you. LOL It was great. I don't normally read other people's blogs as I am so wrapped up in myself that I only do the blogging, but I added you to my favorites, Hehe
P.S. I am following you on Twitter as statikradio

JenLive! said...

#9 Do cute and/or disgusting thinkgs (like eating the cat puke) to give Mommy something interesting to blog about.

Alicia said...

#10. When your older sister is taking a bath, be sure to get in fully clothed with her. This helps Mommy save lots of time because not only do you get a bath but your clothes get cleaned too.

#11. Splash all of the water out of the toilet bowl and onto the floor. This reminds Mommy that it's time to clean the toilets and mop the floors.

Tara@From Dawn Till Rusk said...

Discover that poo is actually very similar to Play Doh

tollesons4him said...

I had to laugh when I read this only because you are exactly right!!!!!

Melinda Zook said...

Those sound right on...I think they might apply to my husband too.

Miss Hope said...

NUMBER FOUR......LAWD HELP ME, NUMBER FOUR!!!!!!

#14. Please get up at the butt crack of dawn and hit the only two buttons on the remote that you know-power and volume.

Melissa said...

Nice ones!! Sounds like my almost 2 year old!!

Sus said...

My kids' favorite is #3. Cal is still crawling at 15 months, but desperately needs to get down and explore in the places with the grossest floors: restaurants, play grounds, sidewalks. Add to that the fact that both Frannie and Cal have incessantly runny noses right now - the kind that yield huge yellow snot globs when they sneeze, that they lick off their upper lips before I have a chance to dash for a kleenex and get back and wrestle them to the floor to wipe it off, all the while screaming Wait! Wait! Sit still while Mommmy gets a kleenex! Don't move! Don't wipe it with your arm! Don't lick!