It's only been over a year.. what if... I just picked this thing back up. I mean it's not that my life got any less nuts.. I just got more quiet about it. Maybe, just maybe...it's time to bring it back out. Oh my!
3 year old Son (completely naked): Hey mom, you know what happens when I eat those Spaghettios with meatballs?
Me(Very scared, but curious to hear the answer): Nope, what happens?
Son (very serious): It travels through my throat (demonstrating the entire time), past my stomach, down to my "little thingy", then under that (and grabs his junk) and this is where they end up.(Squeezing the things so hard I am sure if any male saw that he would have crossed his legs and doubled over.
Me (even more frightened, and yet trying my darndest not to crack up): So the meatballs are stuck in there?
Son (still as serious as a heart attack): Yup, there right in there, do you see them? (and sadly, yes, I could "see" what he was talking about due to the amount of pulling and squeezing he was doing.
Me (pushing it a little farther): Well, I eat Spaghettios with meatballs, what happens to mine?
Son: Well, yours just go in your tummy. (Looking at his mother like she is stupid, and should know that when we eat food, it just goes in our tummies.)
So the 8 year old has yet to ask, "Where do babies come from?" But I swear, the 3 year old is going to beat her to it.
His thoughts on babies are as follows: Mommies have girls in their tummies, and Daddies have boys. Yeah, I'd like to see your dad haul around a kid in there. Men are such wimps, there's no way they'd make it 9 months of torture. I would have gladly given him the privledge to "experience" all that I got to experience. And where the hell would the kid come out from??? ewww!
And then the child sometimes gets so distraught and says, "Mommy, please don't eat me and put me back in your belly. I don't want to go in there. How would I eat?"
Believe me child, I don't want you in there either. You are am mammoth of a child and your big foot wouldn't fit in there now. But maybe I could use that one to my advantage. Like, "Child, if you climb on that countertop One.More.Time. I'm going to eat you!" I swear that would probably work.
So I'm pretty sure he's going to try to figure this whole baby thing out soon. Good thing I only have to have "the talk" with the girl. The girl that really, really doesn't like to talk about things. I'm good with that. So Daddy, who carries boys in his tummy, you have fun with explaining things to the little guy.