I love the fact that you don't give a sh#*!

hmmm.... that last blog post made me sound a little scary to even me. Do you ever feel like you don't quite get the feel for things across in your blog? Like you read the comments and think "whoa... that's not how I meant that at all." I do that all the time.

Does it help that my hubby thought it was hilarious and even wore his ripped shirt around the house that night laughing his arse off? I love that we have that humor with each other. I swear we can make each other laugh at a funeral. I love that guy, even when he rips my stuff.

OK, off the cheesy kick. Hey, I got some news, guess what????? I'm moving.

You know the best part of that.... YOU don't care. That's the whole reason I started this blog. Because you are my one piece of the world I can take with me and never miss a beat. For the past 10 years I have felt like my life was built in a sandcastle that the tide can wash up at any minute, and usually does. My first move was after I taught school for 2 years and loved Lubbock, Texas, but was ready for the adventure that my husband's job brought. Just not ready for the freaking midwest cold. HOLY SNOW BATMAN! But Illinois was great.... for 6 months, until we moved back to Lubbock. Then we got preggers and while in the hospital having the baby, the company called and said we were moving to Nebraska... Yea! (Insert eye roll and sarcasm here) Almost didn't make it through that one, but learned that people don't spontaneously combust, you get through it. Even if you have to leave your job that you LOVE and move away from all of your family and friends to drive 13 hours just 3 weeks after having a C-section. Yeah, that was fun. But we made it. Then after 4 years and many friends later, I got to move to South Carolina while I was preggers again. All I can say are 2 things. 1.) Hardest year of my life. 2.) Nice place to visit the tourist cities, living there sucked in a small town that doesn't know the Civil War is over. Then we moved to Indiana. And I fell in love. Absolutely love it here. I love my friends. I love my kids friends. I love my neighbors. I love every stinking thing about it. But I knew it couldn't last forever. Like everything, it got washed away. But it's ok. I knew it was coming, I am happy for the 2 years I have had here. And thrilled its only a couple hours away from where I am moving. I KNOW that the friends I have made here are friends for life. I would do anything for these girls! (Yes, I'm talking about you!) But the sandcastle got washed away.... again. But you. You bloggy friends. You get to stay! I love that. That makes things ok. I know that there is one constant in my life, and I can deal with it all so much better knowing you are here. Thanks guys!

Now refer to her post about how I feel about missing Indiana. She said it best.

Teach you to touch my hole

Call me Gandhi. I'm all about peace. I put bird food in the feeder regularly. I stop for little old ladies crossing the road. I shower my kids with love. I shoo away flies instead of swatting them.

Now in my family I was never the one to yell. I am the cryer. If I yell, everyone freezes(well, everyone but my kids, they are use to it) But I just do not get mad like that. I don't scold people. I don't get all up in their grill and bust a cap in their.... you get the point. I am a pacifist.

Until....

A certain someone decides to stick his finger in the hole in my jeans and rip them completely beyond repair. Why? Why, you would ask, would someone want to intentionally rip my pants? Me too.

See I love my husband more than chocolate cake. But that boy! I saw him laughing at my favorite pair of pants that have a big a$$ hole by the pocket. But those pants are the most comfortable, most wonderful, extraordinary pair of jeans EVER! Oh I think I love those pants more than chocolate cake too. (hold on, I have to get a tissue, just thinking about the poor fate of my gap jeans just makes me tear up. RIP favorite jeans!)

So I see him eyeing the jeans, and knowing that he can't resist a good hole. (Yes, I get the humor in that statement) I told him not to even think about ripping them. Not sure what that translated to in his head. But about an hour later as we are walking upstairs to put the kids to bed.. it happens. That little BEEP BEEP BEEPING BEEP BEEP stuck his big fat finger in my pants and before I knew it.... RRRRIIIIPPPP!

And that's when Gandhi turned more into a VH1 Reality Show character. I freaked. I screamed and went straight to the closet and found... his favorite comfy shirt. You know the one with the holes around the collar. And...


Well...




I feel much better now.

You can blot my spots whenever you like

Shhh.. don't tell, but I think I'm in love with my carpet cleaning guy. You totally would be too, trust me.

Exhibit A:
He called to tell me he was on his way. (and he didn't even ask what's for supper, or if there was any beer in the fridge.)

Exhibit B:
He cleans. He picks up furniture and moves it, he gets cat puke out of my carpet, he says, "no problem" when I ask him to do something.

Exhibit C:
He brought me flowers. Seriously, brought me a flower all wrapped up all pretty. Now he says they do it for everyone, but I know better. I am sure John felt a connection when he called to tell me he was on his way, then he immediately turned into a florist and got me my special carnation. He feels the love too.

Now how to break it to my husband?????

My new BFF, Oprah

OK so I was to busy jumping up and down with my mouth WIDE open on national television to give a shout out to you guys, but you were totally on my mind. Does that count?

I got so blasted caught up in that Oprah fever it wasn't even funny. I can't even tell you how awesome it was! But I'm gonna try...

So the night before the Oprah show we get to go to a private screening of the Michael Jackson movie. I was all, "I don't know, that doesn't sound like much fun." but it totally was. Just all the old school songs that mesmerized you when you were a kid. Just music, no personal life, no narration, just backstage, rehearsal stuff for his concert. Very cool. I did a bit of dancing and a bit of singing in the theatre. But seriously, could you resist when Thriller comes on??? No, I didn't think so. And neither could the guys dressed like MJ in the line for the next movie. Loved it.


Then the big O! I swear they are pumping happy gas through the vents. On 3 hours of sleep and walking in Chicago in heels at 6 am should make me one grumpy mama, but instead I was all smiles. We were getting the ushers to moonwalk while we waited in line. It was awesome. Then the lady herself walks out, its so cool. She's all personal and down to earth. I guess that's what makes her good at her job, but it was awesome. (Have I said awesome yet in this post? NO, I didn't think so) But the taping stuff was cool, all the hair & makeup people and behind the scenes. But then when Publisher Clearing House comes right into the studio honking it's horn my heart went all, "Holy heck what's going on here!!!" Then this lady won the whole $25K, this lady that sat right across from me in our little waiting room. Super sweet lady that was so deserving. (Not that I wouldn't take the cash, but I can be bigger than that and be happy for someone else... for the most part.) And then...


And then....


And then.....

THEY SAID WE ALL WON!!!!!!!!!!!! And I swear that's all I heard. My jaw opened wide, I started jumping up and down, hugging my girlfriends and having no idea what the heck I won. I totally forgot to figure out what I won. Until someone screamed it in my ear & I look on the screen and see a big fat $500!!! Then I believe that's when my head exploded. But in an awesome way.

I did however refrain from going all nuts in the Oprah store. I only got a key chain, a shirt, a coffee mug, an umbrella, a Christmas ornament, and a pair of slippers... oh, and some Oprah undies. Just a few things.......

But it was fun. And hanging out with some pretty awesome friends totally makes it 100 times better.

You have no idea how much I need this Big O!

OMG! You have no idea how bad I need the Big O! I am so looking forward to exeriencing the Big O that I KNOW I am getting not once, but twice! Once tonight and once tomorrow. Just the thought of the Big O makes me all tingly and excited inside. It is going to be just the stress reliever I need. I can't wait for the Big O!!!!! YES, YES, YES!!!!!!!

And you know what? I am totally experiencing it with my girlfriends! No men included!





Now, get your minds out of the gutter! My Big O is...........Oprah! I am headed to the Oprah show. The show's topic: The new Michael Jackson movie. Now I am not all about the whole MJ thing, but the fact that I get to go to a premier BEFORE a movie is released to the public, the fact that I get pampered by the Big O, and the fact that I get to hang out with my girls is totally enought to get me all excited. So I will check you guys later, I got to go prepare for my Big O!!!!! She has stipulations like what colors to wear and purse sizes. And I have to allow at least an hour to figure out how to sit without fat rolls hanging over my pants. Make that 2 hours, that's going to be a whole magic trick in itself. So be watching tomorrow, I'll give a shout out to my bloggy peeps on the BIG O!!!!!

Adjectives say it all:

One word to describe how you feel today: ___________

Mine: engulfed (had to look that one up on Thesauraus.com. I thought it was a bit more original than overwhelmed.)

Books are so much better than movies

Jodi Picoult... you slay me lady. Tears and wimpering....

I have never written a review for a book, althought I love my books. I love my classics such as Gone with the Wind, Little Women, Count of Monte Cristo. LOVE THEM! And then I dive into the short ones: 5 People You Meet in Heaven, Wednesday Letters, and The Last Lecture. I have been known to read murder mysteries and had a slight Ted Bundy phase. Somehow fascinated with this man. Scarriest was reading the book about the sorority house murders WHILE I was in my sorority house. Everything pretty much described the same layout we had... creepy. And if you know me for a second you would know what a big fat chicken I am, and doubt that I could even finish a book like that. So glad I wasn't around when he did all that. I totall would have fallen for the guys tricks and been a goner.

Anywho... so I read My Sister's Keeper. Whoaaaa! Blow me away man! I wanted to read the book before watching the movie. Books are SO MUCH BETTER than movies! What a powerful book with a suprise ending. WOW oh WOW... now I'm ready for the movie. So I can be one of those people to lean over and say, "that's not how it was in the book" and then pause it and explain the whole book to the person watching it with me, and then they get all pissed and tell me to shut up.... Yeah, I can't wait to watch the movie! Who wants to watch with me????

And now I'm off to read 19 Minutes. Anyone read it yet?